


de este modo en que no soy ni eres

by Lire_Casander



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Body Positive, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 06:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30017475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lire_Casander/pseuds/Lire_Casander
Summary: alex manes can be a lot of things, but he has never felt like a hero
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39





	de este modo en que no soy ni eres

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta’ed
> 
> title from _One Hundred Love Sonnets: XVII_ by Pablo Neruda, Spanish version
> 
> inspired by [One Hundred Love Sonnets: XVII](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/49236/one-hundred-love-sonnets-xvii), by Pablo Neruda

It should feel weird, to be standing on his own, in front of his family and friends, awaiting quite impatiently for Michael. If he’d been told, ten, twelve, fifteen years ago, that he’d get to have _this_ , Alex would have laughed and dismissed the whole idea as some lunatic’s dream. 

And yet here they are. Here _he_ is.

It hasn’t been an easy road, he won’t lie to himself. They both have had to learn how to love themselves in order to love each other, but when they found their balance — when they reached a point where Alex didn’t know where he ended and Michael began — they became unstoppable. There have definitely been so many times when Alex has wanted to give up and go back to how he was — to how _they_ were — before everything started. Before Jesse Manes and Project Shepherd and the toolshed and the hammer and the fucking war that took everything from them.

Before he had to relearn _everything_ , from walking to speaking.

Michael had been part of the problem most of the time, instead of working on finding a solution. But Alex hadn’t been willing to let anyone help him; he’s not proud of it, but he hadn’t wanted anyone to have a look at him and pity him. Or worse, worship him because he was a fallen hero. 

Alex Manes can be a lot of things, but he has never felt like a hero.

Michael’s curls peek through the door by the end of the venue, and the sight sends a thrill through Alex’s body. The love he feels is so vast that it cannot be contained anymore. One tear finds its way down his cheeks as he watches Michael walking towards him. He feels finally complete, standing tall on the prosthesis Michael designed for him using materials not known to humans — dismantling the spaceship that should have taken him home. 

“You are my home, Alex,” Michael had said, then. “I love you.” 

That night, they had made love as though Alex’s injury didn’t exist — that night Alex had finally realized that Michael loved him _because_ of everything they had gone through, on their own and together. 

That night, Alex had promised himself that he would spend the rest of his life loving himself — and Michael — the way Michael loved him. 

Fully, completely — because neither of them knew any other way to love.

**Author's Note:**

>  **  
>  _One Hundred Love Sonnets: XVII ~ Pablo Neruda_**
> 
> _I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,_  
>  _or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:_  
>  _I love you as one loves certain obscure things,_  
>  _secretly, between the shadow and the soul._
> 
> _I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries_  
>  _the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,_  
>  _and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose_  
>  _from the earth lives dimly in my body._
> 
> _I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,_  
>  _I love you directly without problems or pride:_  
>  _I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,_  
>  _except in this form in which I am not nor are you,_  
>  _so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,_  
>  _so close that your eyes close with my dreams._


End file.
